The Harwich Headhunt ​(cancelled)
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Early Season Dominance

5/29/2013

6 Comments

 
Team Jackal is getting ready for the Headhunt in legendary fashion. Each individual team member of this legendary crew have been off slaying fish in their own hood, in their own way, soaking in as much fish blood as possible in these early days to prep us for battle. The goal is to become one with the fish, learn their ways, understand their women, and then exploit their weakness in the name of glory. So far, Team Jackal has set the stage.

Tria, legendary fisherman who somehow is still not sponsored by Busch Light (I know you’re reading Anheuser-Busch) has been slaying the bass in Rhode Island. Must be nice to have a boat in your front yard and be under 5 miles from cow bass land. I’m tired of the incessant texts of ‘blitz’, ‘white hot’ and ‘horny’ but Tria has been killing them, the latest, from tonight below.

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Ethan representing as well. Assquatch made his way to the canal earlier this week where he and a buddy landed 20 fish, up to 42’ – some I think caught in his bare teeth. 

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Benoit. After a 5 year hiatus from his skiff in Westport – the one where he dropped the engine off the back and dove down naked to retrieve, then anchor tossed all the way back to the harbor – well, he’s back and hitting it hard. A lot of schoolies, but a number of keepers, and totaling over 100 stripers already early in the season – and even getting the family involved he’s so confident. 

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Sean. Any fish is a good fish or so they say – somewhere, I think. He slayed this pickerel earlier this week at his local sweetwater hole in Harwich. And by slay, I mean took off the hook and posed for a picture with the fish his wife had just caught. Either way, blood is blood – it’s in the water and Team Jackal has the scent.

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Myself, I saw a few guys taking keepers on a legitimate blitz under the North End bridge on my way to the Bruins the other day. Herring everywhere, birds diving, and fish crashing by the locks at the State Police boat station. Looked like fun, and would have taken a better look if I wasn’t already half in the bag, late for the game, and intimidated by the dream team fishing off the bridge. Either way, I knew I would get out soon. And by get out, I mean being ordered to hit Loews to pick out new faucets while having to text back picks so my wife could choose (order) which ones to buy. One of these days I’ll get a line wet, but until then I can lean on the crew, and just talk trash. 

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Send in some other reports, and get the registrations going. Right now we have 1 boat I think – us – so odds are looking good but need to get the registrations in. Also, if anyone wants to sponsor – you have a couple weeks – we’re getting shirts made early so if you want some ink that will pretty much guarantee your business taking off, let us know. Lastly, word on the street is Dave Burnie (the champion Burnie who everyone likes and wants to be friends with and respects the way he fishes = not the other one) may be running a Calcutta for the Headhunt this year. More money for the Jackal – love it. Love everything.

P.S. I went with the faucet on the far left. Originally went with the middle one, wife liked the style, but then noticed the picture on the box of the mirror I just bought, with the vanity, and seemed like shorter one was better way to go given the taller one overlapped a bit with the bottom of the mirror and really took away from the whole feel of what we're going for. Took back the middle one and got the lower one, both brushed and not too shiny, which she wanted, and both Moen, so good brand name and about the same price. Will let you guys know how it pans out, but really excited.

6 Comments
Ben
5/30/2013 09:27:52 am

Excellent choice Ryan. It's all about achieving the look you are going for. Priorities and the important things in life. Team Jackal 4 eva.

Reply
Storm "Boston Dangler" DuPont
6/5/2013 12:28:58 am

Fellas, I read this a few times and had my paralegal staff give it a read as well. I’m very disappointed. Not really sure what this post is all about, lacks body, meaning, flow, and direction. To put it nicely, it’s a literary abortion. I mean, we have 42” schoolies, ditch fishing, a pickerel the size of my cock, and a $92 Moen faucet mentioned in the same post. Let’s get back on track here.

You guys remember our Spotter Plan pilot from last year, Doc. Lars Shlonghofer. He called me from the Sat phone high above the skies off Chatham the other day and wanted me to relay to you that Grohe Faucets are the only way to go, maybe he is bias as he does own the company. He said the only “Moen” in his house is the “Moen” from the ladies in his bedroom. No disrespect to you but he knows his shit, single handedly lays more pipe than our very own Harry & Tiger Woods at a swingers convention.

Team Dangler has been busy as usual and that’s why we haven’t been able to post as much so far this year. Harry, Captain and myself are getting ready to head out to Vegas in a few weeks as we’ve been chosen as the key note presenters at the ICAST convention. We’re sponsored again this year by the typical folks Shimano, Penn, Van Staal, Accurate etc. This list goes on and on but there just isn’t enough of us to go around. Vegas should be fun and we will do our typical stunts and perform our patented maneuvers on the ladies, you know, the Flaming Amazons, Hot Karls, Purple Mushrooms, Puerto Rican Fog Banks, the Bullwinkle, the Nixon, the Pattycake, Woody Woodpeckers and our all-time summer favorite, the Mississippi Birdbath.

I’m happy to report that Team Dangler is going to be sporting mustaches again this year so be sure to tell your lady friends that we will once again be offering free Mustache rides at the after party (No Sports Bag, you can’t have one but we will buy you a beer and let you watch in jaw dropping awe and admiration)

Off to slay some giant blue fin,
Team Dangler out….

Reply
Ryan
6/5/2013 12:41:17 am

Dingler, love the fire, but calm down. You stache sporting slack bags should check the odds while you're in Vegas - last I checked you were 276-1 and smart money is on whether you guys will weigh in anything other than a cunner. Either way, let us know on the bluefin - may head out this weekend although my fishing continues to be weak. Went out on mystic river last night, off some shady dock w/ I think a dead body under the pilings next to us, actually put some chicken on a bobber hoping to catch a 3 eyed eel but no luck. Again.

Reply
Sport Bag
6/5/2013 12:59:43 am

The Dangler keeps talking about his "mahood", the Burkes choices in faucets and me watching him give mustache rides. Talk about getting off track during a fishing competition. But when you have the fishing skills equilivent of Tony Allen on offense (which we all know is a train wreck) then you have to compensate.

But lets talk about the early season of dominance of the fresh water fish.......ok that was enough of that.

I have yet to get my feet wet on a boat this year but im keeping the skills tight by removing pine needles off the roof of my mansion one by one with some RonZ and the precision of a sniper.

Im sorry to report that the Bags wont be together this year on the Unskinny Bopp. The Captain had to cancel on us cause he has a photo shoot in the Cayman Islands. The Stallion may be looking for a boat but his agent isnt fielding calls from anyone except the FBI's terror task force. So I am a free agent this year but the rumor mill says that everyone from Bill Dance to The Codfather Charlie Moore is trying to recruit me.

The Bags will ride again......

Reply
Ryan
6/5/2013 01:13:00 am

No boat for the bag?! What? This is some serious type stuff here - what the hell can we do? What about your brother? The champion. Can't he give you a ride? We'll do our best to scout but already have a crew.

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Dave (The Champ) Burnie link
7/3/2013 12:25:53 pm

Blah Blah Blah, while you bitches were taking english 101 on ryming I was out filling my boat with the bounty of the sea! Keep talking it helps me fall asleep.

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